Here are 9 lessons I learned from Stoicism.
For the past few years, I’ve been studying and trying to apply Stoicism to my life.
It started when the pandemic happened. It was really stressful for me, causing me to become anxious about certain things and Stoicism helped me ease some of my pains.
After things slowly got back to normal, I started using Stoicism to cure other issues within me, issues that I didn’t realize I possessed until I started learning this philosophy.
So, here are 9 things I learned that I want to share with you:
1. Focus on what you can control
There’s a lot that’s going to happen in your life that you won’t be able to control. You won’t be able to control how things turn out, you won’t be able to control catastrophic world events, and you definitely won’t be able to control how people act.
But you can control how you react to these things; you do have a say in how you think and behave.
So, here are some things I constantly tell myself:
- We can’t control the outcome, but we can control our effort.
- We can’t control bad events, but we can control how we react to them.
- We can’t control other people’s behaviour, but we can control our behaviour.
2. We will die one day
Everyone knows that they will eventually die. But people don’t live as if they are going to die. They think they will die one day, but that day is long from now.
And this is bad.
Thinking this way will cause you to never really cherish what you have and to live fully.
By meditating on your death and realizing that you can die at any moment -whether it’s tomorrow, next year, or in 3 decades- you start to care more about what you do and how you think.
For instance, you will start to respect your time more. You will also start to respect your thoughts more.
This is something I’m still practicing and I will admit that it is hard.
It’s hard to imagine your death when you’re healthy and safe. And because of this, I know for a fact I’m not spending my time wisely. I still procrastinate too much and still waste too much time doing things that I don’t like and don’t benefit me.
However, I have noticed that ever since I started to (kinda) meditate on my death, I have been letting things go more. I don’t hold onto things that offend me as much anymore.
I just tell myself (and this is something you should steal from me) that I can die tomorrow or this person can die tomorrow. Do I want this conversation or thought to be the last memory I have of this person?
This question helps to put things into perspective. It tells me that whatever spat I had isn’t really that serious.
3. Do not let external forces affect your mind or principles
This is similar to the control part, but it’s important.
Again, things happen and people happen. But do not let these external forces affect your values or principles as these are the only things we can control.
If someone is annoying, don’t let their behaviour cause you to talk or think badly about them. If you get into a car accident, don’t let it cause you to rage at the other driver and have negative, vengeful thoughts.
You can get angry, as this would be natural, but don’t have negative thoughts, such as hurting the other driver or getting back at the other driver (basically, don’t be petty) because this is an attack on your mind.
And you would be doing it to yourself. So, don’t.
4. Do not fear the future, for the future is not determined
This is something I still have trouble with.
I’m constantly fearing things that will happen later on, but the future isn’t even determined. I’m just anxious about something that may or may not happen and may or may not be as bad as I think it will be.
It’s unnecessary stress.
So, I have to do a better job of not worrying about these events and learn to deal with them when it arises. I also have to learn to prepare so that I can eliminate this event or limit the pain that it can cause me.
This is a better focus and use of thought than being scared.
5. Live in the present
The present moment is the moment that you are living in. So, just focus on it and be mindful of your thoughts and behaviours.
Don’t let your mind run amok. Don’t dwell on the past or the future. And don’t think about things that aren’t related to your task.
Focus on what you are currently doing and on the current moment that you’re living.
6. Pain is either temporary or tolerable
You know when you feel pain (usually physical), it either goes away quickly if it’s pretty painful or if it lasts long, it’s not that painful?
Well, this is something that you have to remind yourself of so that you don’t complain and have negative thoughts about your pain.
The reason why is that when you start to be negative about it, you start to pollute your thoughts and eventually your judgements.
So rather than complaining about the pain -something that you can’t control- channel your focus into the fact that it will soon go away or that it is tolerable and you’ve felt worse.
7. Anger doesn’t solve anything
This is something I have to constantly tell myself.
Acting in anger doesn’t do anything other than make you and the situation worse. It’s okay to feel angry or irritated, but don’t let these emotions dictate how you behave or think.
If you need to leave the situation to cool down, do that. Then once you are calm, return to the situation and deal with it rationally.
8. Do things for the greater good
When you are unsure of what to do, ask yourself if this act will be for the greater good and if it will benefit others.
For example, picking up other people’s garbage. When I see it, I think to myself that I should do it. But at the same time, I don’t want to do it because it’s not my garbage.
However, picking it up would be better for the planet and for society. So, I pick it up (most of the time. Still working on this one, too).
9. Be confident with your decisions
Be firm with your decisions and don’t wobble back and forth. Make a decision, live with it, and deal with the consequences if any arise.
Also, don’t dwell if you think you made a bad decision. It’s already made and you can’t turn back. Just learn to deal with it and try to correct it if you can. But don’t let it sit there and soak in your mind. Either be proactive about it or let it go.
Final Thoughts
Stoicism has helped me a lot and I think it can be beneficial for you too. So hopefully, this article acts as a gateway to the many great books on this philosophy.
Additionally, if you’re curious about where to start, I recommend The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and How To Think Like a Roman Emperor by Donald Robertson.
Both of the above book links are Amazon affiliate links.